Wednesday, July 30, 2008 @12:29 AM
if miche did not believe that for every person that enters her life there is a purpose and reason and that for everything that happens, God planned it for a reason, miche would have murdered someone a long time ago.
miche genuinely believes that she can make a change for some of them in the class and that there are kids out there who needs the love and care that miche didnt have when she was at their age. miche genuinely believes that this is the dues that she has to pay, the giving back to God for the blessings he has given her. miche has never believed that this job was her calling, cause she hates the teaching in the classroom, too many people too many voices, it riles her sensitivities and makes her even more afraid of people in the long run. it is a tiring job, one which is emotionally draining and yet strangely uplifting. one which makes you feel really crappy at the end of the day, but also brings a smile to your face when you think of the one little sweet thing that has been done for you. it is a different experience from being a coach.
many of you, be it sam, val, al, xueqian, the raffles debaters, the barker boys, terence or cow, you are my intellectual equals, if not my intellectual superiors. the kind of attention and care which you need when you were at their age was very different. miche was more of an enabler then, quietly giving you the strength to achieve the things which you already know you can achieve, or to pull you gently into the right direction when you appear to be straying. miche was that ear who listened to you and never judged. but to these kids, miche may be the one of the few who actually spends time with them. the few kids whom she is closed to are kids who come from troubled or dysfunctional families. dual-working parents, over-achieving siblings, a child with no one but a cousin to talk to yet the cousin is dying from cancer, teens who dont know how to deal with the stress of going onto the next stage of life, kids who try so hard but never see the results that they want, more importantly, kids who never believed in themselves, because no one ever believed in them. miche was a very lucky child, because miche was blessed with the gift of the gab, miche was blessed with intelligence and sharpness and miche was able to pull herself out of the rut and abyss which she was once so deeply entrenched in. God has given her multiple blessings. So to miche, this is her repayment to God, this is what she owes for the salvation she has gotten.
If miche really did not believe that she has a purpose in the lives of these kids, miche would have left long ago. so here today, as a child of God, who albeit having backslided so many times and turned her back on God, miche prays for the strength to continue and miche prays for the many who needs to believe and be loved. miche prays for you.
Monday, July 28, 2008 @10:28 PM
miche never thought that one day she would actually say this, but one of the greatest perks of this job is when the most notorious kids in your school and class actually turn up for the night classes you choose to run for the class. it has been a long day for miche and kitty jie jie, lessons ended at 830 and we found that our bags have been locked in the staffroom. the kids who were with us offered to send us back cause it was late but we declined their offers. but the most surprising and nice thing to happen today was the appearance of the poh and his chubby friend. kitty jie jie and miche were just talking about it before class that they would not turn up for lessons. but lo and behold, the whole group of them actually did turn up for class at 630. this is truly the respect and face taht students will give for teachers whom they feel has made a difference in their lives and touched them in some way or another. my glorious class today was extremely sweet, they knew that miche was having night classes tonight and they offered to have tea with her at their place, asked her to go back earlier to rest, drink more water, take more tonics. haha JL asked if miche was sick when he was hanging around outside xiao shuai ge's class today. so despite the bad start to the morning with yet another round of annoying squealering, miche is substantially cheered up.
now, if only miche is able to muster the intellectual capacity to blog about power hierarchies. dear quah-la nictaro, hang in there and all the best for the competition. =) much love. miche misses you guys.
Saturday, July 26, 2008 @12:15 AM
power hierarchies are these strangely amazing and pervading things which invade the human psyche without any form of indoctrination nor education. it is almost as if recognsing power and influence is a natural instinct which comes about from the depths of the human mind. in every event, society or even a mere setting, the ability of the human mind to consciously or sub-consciously recognise power structures and hierarchies is uncanny and almost scary. tells us how much te human psychology is obsessed with power structures in our midst.
so if power is the thing which is instinctively recognised by the human mind, does that mean that all things in the world is controlled by power? even things which we deem to be objective and supposed neutral and beyond all influence, things like justice, fairness and truth. isnt then education which is meant to seek the good and nurture the best also part of power structure who's ultimate aim is to dominate those who's will is too weak and hence subjected to shaping and manipulation.
so miche wonders tonight in this whole power structure, where do all of us stand?
All things are subject to interpretation whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth.
Friday, July 25, 2008 @7:39 PM
this has been a long ardous and tiring week. the whole five days in school have been one saga and episode after another. first was monday, when irritating squealer went ahead and schedule the extra lessons on monday when miche had repeatedly told him that mondays are bad for her. then he dares to deny that he ever did that. today, he made miche change the sec two class test again, because he is unable to finish teaching the agreed areas. miche discussed the paper with him at the beginning of term and he should have made sure that the areas were covered. and then he dare to claim that he never asked me to conduct night classes, when the others heard the conversation miche had with him the other day in the office.
then comes the other one. the out of sight, out of mind. she can actually claim that she does not when the class had to go to the hall and actually released them 15 minutes late. miche had to go and get the class and she wasnt even in the least apologetic.
the class got trashed by some sec 4s. miche was really angry. not cause of the mess, but because they were bullying the young ones. miche got the vp and p to catch the kids hahaha and made the sec 4s apologise to the sec 2s. hahahah miche "settle" the problem. hahah.
on a happier note, my glorious ones got first runner up for some cultural quiz. not too shabby for the last class in the whole of sec 2. woohoo!!!
miche is back to marking. will pose something more intellectual in a bit.
Friday, July 18, 2008 @5:27 PM
so ends another week of school. this was a tiring week for miche. the evil one is back at work and his squealer is acting as if he is big boss again. miche doesnt mind doing work because work is meant to be complete and done, particularly if the work is not done for yourself but for the benefit of others. BUT, when you demand and order that all other work to be out down and left behind so that your work is completed first then that is ridiculous and downright unreasonable.
miche does not want to complain or bitch. BUT, when you have a full teaching load and others have time to go home at 2 everyday when they are supposing to be having the same load, then miche should not be the one doing all the extra work alone. the best thing is, miche's doing work that she is not even supposed to be doing. HOW CAN THIS BE?????? some people have no cow sense. they dont do the work given to them within their own job scope. they do not go to class on time, when fights occur in the class, nothing is being done. and you have the cheek to complain that the class is hard to control. the kids may not be intelligent but they are not stupid or dumb. they know who cares about them and who is willing to make an effort. being soft-spoken or acting soft-spoken is no excuse for ignoring conflicts that happen during your lesson, neither is it a reason to put the blame on the class. the kids can tell when you do not turn up for class or if you bother to teach them properly. dont push my boundaries. seriously.
miche was so annoyed this morning that she actually wanted to see her glorious kids and yes, they managed to cheer her up. =)
Thursday, July 10, 2008 @11:36 PM
The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.~Friedrich Nietzsche~
@9:56 PM
so in the absence of a team to take care of, miche have adopted the volleyteam in the school. firstly cause the entire team minus one are my students and secondly cause they are kinda adorable people who need lots of encouragement. they lost their last three matches, so yesterday miche decided to be nice and brought them to swensens for ice-cream. unlike xiangyi who almost always shamelessly kopes miche's money, these kids were reluctant to order. they were like "erm cher why dont you order first?" in fact when miche first said let's go for ice-cream they thought it was cheapo mac's fifty cents. but yeah so miche brought them to swensens. you should have seen their eyes light up when the earthquake arrived. they all stood up and look at it in amazement, and miche had to tell them can you please sit down you are embarassing me in the restaurant hahahaa....
but anyway, they are kinda my adopted team and well there is still my form class cause they are quite cute, in fact miche is sure that her form class is extremely happy that miche wasnt in school today. and please miche shant start on her graduation ceremony today cause it was firstly a total waste of time (except that miche got to meet her friends) and secondly the whole ceremony was boring. but miche brought her grandparents and parents out for lunch and ice-cream (at swensens AGAIN) cause grandma wanted swensens. and then miche headed down to ccab to watch the match against miche's alma mater. it is amazing how sometimes a small can of 100+ or H2O is able to cheer up 14 year olds or when attention is paid to them. well, miche thinks that even though they have failed in their quest to qualify for the next round of the competition they have been good sportsmen and all they need now is more faith in their abilities and a little more discipline. because no one gave up on them but themselves. time for my one goal and one journey inspiration talk huh when all obstacles are forcefully removed! hahahah miche's evil ways....
going to the fifth and sixth floor makes me feel like a celebrity all the time. grins
well three weeks down and seven more to go...miche shall stand here once again at the threshold of life to see what leads her way and pray that God will bring her down the right path.
To those who have crossed into my life, everything happens for a reason and a purpose. we just need to find out why.
miche is missing her team rather badly at times and hopes that all of you are fine and well.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008 @1:27 AM
miche suddenly realised that it has been two months since the jg's victory and one since arena and she has yet written a single thing or said a single word about the five plus some whom the first half of 2008 was spent with. so here goes.
it has been a rollercoaster ride for all of us from dec to the end of may. many months of anxiety, worries, tears for some, fears for others, headaches, sleepless nights as miche lies away angsting (yes, angsting) over combinations and logic lines. in a way, miche has never promised that the journey was going to be a painless one but nevertheless, miche is grateful that all of you stuck with each other and stuck with her and aidan throughout all the tough moments. miche is appreciative of all the personal and professional sacrifices each of you had to make in order for us to bring home the championships, and miche sincerely hopes that beyond the plaques, trophies, best speakers and 4.0 for one english assignment (hint hint), your greatest rewards have been the support, friendship and memories you have all gotten from this season.
miche once said this to someone, that all the victory and sadness of the world lasts for one day only. because when the moment ends and when we wake the next day, no one except for us is going to remember or have the glorious members of the moment, we are announced as champions. no one is going to remember in ten years time, that you were the team that broke the ncs-jgs curse. but the memories of the times we spent with each other are things which are intangible but important.
for all the heart attacks at the silly things said during training spars, for all the annoyance for stupidity that persists to repeat itself at times, for the deep breaths taken each time in the finals, for that one wonderful poi given by rj and his loud loud voice, for nigel and his meticulous ways, for ben and his deep intellectual thoughts and much-appreciated hardworking ways, for xiangyi who is always 'stealing' money from miche for dinner, for the heart-stopping moment as miche sat in the auditorium counting down the speakers and grabbing matt's shoulders going "if the next name isnt nicholas quah, i am going to kill someone", for the late night/early morning chats with dodo-fish ball and for jarret and his stories about tun and slogging his all for the team, for the juniors who relenetlessly trained for two whole weeks and no complains and the lala king who christened me michemonster, a great great great thank you.
so thank you, thank you to all of you for giving miche the best season she has ever had, because if you gave her an other opportunity to chose, she would not have it any other way. really.
Tuesday, July 01, 2008 @10:49 PM
one week on from official lessons, it has been tiring what with 6 sec 2 lit classes, 4 sec 2 hist classes, 1 sec 4 na hist and 1 sec 4 express social studies. not to mention my glorious, glamourous, great, gorgeous form class. miche bets that they will die to read my blog entries.
the kids are alright, some are in fact quite adorable, not very academic but personal. the girls are fascinated by the piercings (what is new) and the boys are forever making fun of my name and surname. moment of the month, today during sec 4 hist class, the boys kept calling mi xue! mi xue! when they think that i am not paying attention to them and right at that moment as i look up and said i am ignoring you cause you arent addressing me properly, i suddenly missed nigel, matt, xiangyi, nick, renjie, ben and all the rest. sobs. michemonster had a moment of heart pangs.....
it has been very different teaching them i guess, not the same with my teams from all the past years, different level of interaction. today i went down to support the volleyball team, cause out of 7 players in the team, i teach 6 of them and the captain has been rather faithfully reminding me what time to be there so yeah i went down to watch them play. i really miss managing and taking care of a team, it has been something which i have been doing for such a long time and not to do it now makes me feel rather empty as if a huge part of my life is missing. i might be able to take care of a team next year, but i guess for the next 6 months i will just have to make do.
anyway, my mom has packed the huge doggie the boys gave me in a plastic bag and he is fast friends with my huge hush puppy. at least when we move, they wont be lonely. hahahahahahahhahaha my parents are strange, they made the two dogs hug each other the other day O-O.
anyway, bottom line, miche misses you guys and hopes to see you soon. recover soon shao!