i am tired. i am very very tired. i am exhausted to the point in which i really dont know what to say to anyone anymore. i woke up this morning and was decidedly depressed. work is making my depression worse. it really is. i dont know what else to do and i dont know what else to feel. i feel claustrophobic. i feel suffocated. physically, i really do. i feel as if at times, i cant even breathe. increasingly, i just want to collapse and die. literally collapse and die. i dont even know what to say to him when he asks me what is wrong. i can only mutter under my breath i am tired. i dont think i can go on anymore, this time i think it is for real. because my head is no longer clear. and it is no longer rationally telling me that i need to go on. but that it is perhaps time to give up.

miche needs a sign from somewhere. God, can you hear her?